![]() Tone Bell (Host of the show): The audience will actually decide "The Jerk Off!" Jerk (v/o): (Sarcastically) Hey I gotta idear: let's make the world's most retarded prank show for those who find "Jersey Shore" too high-brow! Uh-oh! One of the jerks pretended to take someone's cell phone! BA HA HA! Stupid pedestrian thinks her property is being stolen! Uh-oh! This jerk's holding up an elevator indefinitely! BA HA HA! Stupid people with jobs they're gonna be late for! (We see a prank of a jerk moving a baby carriage roughly, nearby people notice) Uh-oh! These people think a baby's being endangered! BA HA HA! Stupid life-forms with no basic cable show! God, I hate them all! (We cut to clips from MTV's "Jerks With Cameras", set to abrasive dubstep music) MTV's (yells) "JERKS WITH CAMERAS!" ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?! Cut back to Jerk, looking depressed.) Have you ever felt overshadowed? Eclipsed? Usurped, even? Have you ever spent years of your life that you will never get back, toiling relentlessly on a massively ambitious project, very near and dear to your heart, only to see someone else with more money and resources than you will ever have, swoop in and abduct your spotlight with an idea just similar enough to yours that you look like the idea thief who's just riding a coattail? Have you ever felt like that? Cause I have. ![]() ![]() I'm Some Jerk With A Camera! (We cut to the entrance archway for the park with the "Some Jerk With A Camera" Logo in the style of Disney's logo. Jerk: To all who come to this reasonably content place, welcome. ![]() (We cut to Jerk in front of the Universal Studios Hollywood entrance sign, the screen is in black and white.) ![]()
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